Jon Smith / On...

May 18th 2012

On… Baby Gyms

Description: A soft, comfortable surface over which hang two arcing poles and under which events may dazzle and amaze the onlooker – not dissimilar, in fact, to the new Wembley stadium. Or more precisely, a selection of toys and soft cuddly things suspended from above that will entertain your baby as she tries to focus on this strange planet she’s just arrived in.

Pros: Baby gyms show you, the parent, the wide array of feats and movements that your baby can manage even though she’s only a few months old. Once you put Junior under those activity toys you’ll begin to see a total-body experience taking place, with all sorts of leg and foot action going on as well as the first real utilisation of fists and arms – it’s truly remarkable. Baby gyms, for most of us, are the first opportunity we get to see baby flexing her muscles and choosing which toys she likes and which toys she doesn’t.

Cons: It’s not really the fault of the baby gym, but there is something quite sad about the time when baby has had enough of being static on the floor and just wants to explore instead. As parents we obviously applaud the newfound skills of crawling and very soon, walking, but equally we mourn the end of the true baby-era. Baby takes a matter of months to go from cute, near helpless infant lying prone on the floor to the destroyer that is a toddler, roaming from room to room upsetting all that stands in his or her path. Never mind ‘pity the children’ how about ‘pity my brand new state-of-the-art LCD stuck-to-the-wall television’.

What’s it all about? Babies either get on with gyms or they don’t. There’s no real way of telling until you have gone to the trouble of buying one. Our son would certainly use his, but only if one of us was hovering over him and encouraging every single interaction – whereas friends of ours unveiled their baby gym one day and by the next, their baby was lost in her own world for the best part of two hours at a time. This gave Mum and Dad the chance to read a chapter of their new paperback, or watch a bit of news on the television. Imagine that.

Bloke’s Rating: You’ve joined the gym yourself in the past, and had every intention of going regularly – this could be the same for your little one. Give them a while to get into it. Alternate the toys, and therefore the exercises on offer and look forward to the day that he rolls over for the first time, unassisted – magic.

Posted at 12:43pm and tagged with: baby, dad, parenting, gym, two column,.

May 17th 2012

On… Baby Training

We all want our children to be fighting fit and ready for the many challenges they will have to face throughout life. Those first trials happen early – from day one, really. The speed with which your baby starts to crawl, stand up and walk marks a new milestone every time. They are also highly competitive rites of passage. Try as you might not to get involved, you will invariably be sucked in – comparisons will be made between the apple of your eye and every other baby that you know. To make matters worse, other people will make comparisons with babies you do not know, or even worse, with babies that aren’t even babies any more.

“Yes son, but you were walking when you were seven days old and Uncle Frank was working in the factory before his second birthday.”

How clouded our memory becomes. The truth of the matter is that every baby is unique and will get round to doing things in their own sweet time. No amount of pressure from you is really going to bring forward his first steps or a full set of pearly-white teeth – but that doesn’t stop us from trying. We wouldn’t feel like effective parents if we weren’t at least encouraging development in our children. We naturally want them to succeed. We want them to be the best, the tallest, fastest, strongest. Thankfully – or conveniently – a number of manufacturers have bent over backwards to ensure that there is a massive selection of products available to ensure you can help train your baby to do absolutely anything. But buy with caution.

As with all baby gadgets, some educational products are useful and some not so useful. The main problem with the apparatus designed to help your child ‘develop’ is that babies are all very different. Just because little Emily down the road spends four hours a day in her bouncer and loves it, does not necessarily mean that your baby will. Some kids like red toys and some like blue. Every time you consider buying your child an educational gadget be prepared for the chance that it will be used once for thirty seconds and then ignored until you eventually pass it on to another child or take it to the charity shop.

On the flip side, your baby’s world should be one of adventure and discovery. Her mind needs stimulation and something different to find, and find again and again, round about every fifteen minutes. Be sure yours is a house of variety, not a barren wasteland of mum-and-dad-stuff with which Baby is not allowed to play.

Posted at 12:37pm and tagged with: baby, dad, parenting, two column,.

May 16th 2012

On… Pram Riders/Boards

Description: A pram board is a plastic plate that attaches to the back of a push chair allowing you to cart a tired child around as you push your smaller infant now that the new baby has stolen the older child’s carriage. A pram rider is a far more exotic mobile seat on wheels, not dissimilar to a motorbike sidecar that again attaches to the pushchair but allows your older child to sit rather than stand – put a pair of goggles on him and you can recreate scenes from The Great Escape again and again and again.

Pros: Although as parents we want to encourage our kids to walk under their own steam, sometimes their snail’s pace is painfully slow. The more adventurous amongst you may well get carried away with a Sunday stroll and find your older child can’t cope with the miles you are clocking up and just decides enough is enough and sits themselves down on the pavement, refusing to budge. It is during these moments that the canny parent who has remembered to attach a pram rider can now offer their oh-so-tired child the opportunity to be pushed along in comfort.

Cons: Given the opportunity to walk or ride, most kids are going to take the easy choice. The Pram Board takes a bit of effort to attach and detach, so you can’t really take it off at the start of the outing and make the older child do at least a bit of walking before he rides home. Expect a tantrum or two if you want to insist he stretches his legs first.

What’s it all about? When there is a gap of over two years between children is seems a bit pointless buying a double buggy, because the oldest is quite capable of walking. However, for many of us with a gap between kids that is roughly two years or less, this is an absolute necessity. A pram rider or board can be a complete lifesaver.

Bloke’s Rating: You can live without it but if you ever want to be on time for anything again, you need one.

Posted at 12:33pm and tagged with: Gadgets, dad, parenting, pushchairs, two column,.

April 10th 2012

On… Baby carriers (front load)

Baby Carriers (Front Load)

Description: A reverse backpack into which you place your baby, allowing you to carry her around while leaving your hands free to carry the nappy bag, camera, mobile phone and car keys. The alternative, of course, is to put all the baby stuff in a bag over your shoulder and carry your baby in your arms, but your arms will begin to ache very quickly.

Pros: Babies, despite their compact size, are remarkably heavy. Anyone who’s enjoyed a sleepless night or two with a little one will vouch for me here. Newborns and young babies love to be close to another body, and while breast-feeding gives your partner a lot of body contact, there isn’t much option for Dad – unless, of course, you get one of these little contraptions. Having your baby strapped to your chest is obviously great for her. She can enjoy your warmth, feel your chest move and generally feel very snug, and it’s great for Dad to look down on her little head. Using the carrier will also mean you don’t have to worry about carting a pram or a pushchair around, which can make nipping around the shops infinitely easier, especially on a Saturday. I favoured the carrier over the pushchair on particularly cold days so that our son could get the benefit of my jacket as well as his own.

Cons: Some dads have a bit of an issue wearing a baby carrier but once you’ve tried it on you will be converted. I would advise practising with the carrier on flat paths and roads before tackling any hills or walks over broken ground – there is something quite frightening about not being able to see your own feet, or the ground beneath you, and coupled with the responsibility of carrying your sleeping baby, can easily turn a simple stroll in the park a nerve-wracking experience. Your centre of balance will shift with the added weight on your chest, so slow, short steps are the key until you get used to the quite alien experience – it’s totally different to being able to walk with a pack on your back. One disheartening fact is the oversight by manufacturers to include enough extendable strap to cater for a large-chested Dad or a larger baby – there might be a time where you simply can’t adjust the thing anymore and you’ll have to revert to plan B – Mum gets to carry. Shame.

What’s it all about? Some mums would argue that letting Dad carry the baby in a carrier is payback time for all the months your partner was carrying her in her womb. Maybe they’re right, but it’s hardly difficult. Enjoy it. And always remember when it comes to getting baby out, it’s far easier than having to give birth – so, I guess we win again.

Bloke’s Rating: Never mind how you look, it’s how you feel that’s important. You new dad you!

Posted at 7:56pm and tagged with: baby carriers, baby, new baby, new-born, dad, two column,.

March 31st 2012

On… Baby slings

Baby Sling

Description: The beginner’s baby carrier – an adjustable length of fabric which is draped around the shoulder to form a cradle or sling for an infant or toddler. Very similar, in fact, to a sling for a broken arm, only much bigger. The material is usually held in shape with a metal ring or clasp and your baby can be ‘worn’ on your front or on your back. It’s what people used in olden times and continue to use today especially in Asia and the Pacific Rim – why? Because it works and it’s a lot less bother and a lot cheaper than a baby carrier.

Pros: Cheap and cheerful, the sling offers the wearer some assistance with the weight of the baby or toddler, whilst still offering all of the benefits of a baby carrier – the proximity to Mum or Dad, the shared body warmth and the whole being carried thang. There’s another advantage. Contrary to common sense there are certain members of the Great British public who actually think that mums shouldn’t breast-feed in public. Why? They think it is a private affair that should be conducted behind closed doors. I still haven’t worked out whether it is the sight of a baby receiving nourishment or a view of a bare breast that offends them, but complain they do and there have even been incidents of women being asked to put their waps away by the police because some fascist OAP can’t stand the fluctuations in his aorta because of an exposed lactating mammary gland. The knock-on effect of all this negative publicity and perceived animosity towards breastfeeding is that some mums do feel more comfortable disguising feeding time and the baby sling offers a practical solution by doubling as a privacy screen.

Cons: Some people think slings look a bit naff – the ethnic patterns and colours are often associated with new-age hippies and sweaty backpackers and therefore feel unsuitable for fashionable urban streets. It is possible to get hold of plain coloured slings, but it’s quite hard.

What’s it all about? The sling is a simple solution without the bells and whistles we find with so many baby gadgets. Are they naff? Well, that’s down to personal taste. I can’t pretend that many blokes would want to wear one, so the decision should really be left to your partner. If she wants to use it, go for it.

Bloke’s Rating: Economic and traditional, which translates as – maybe not the best blokey status symbol.

Posted at 9:17pm and tagged with: baby slings, baby, gadgets, dad, parenting, two column,.

March 29th 2012

On… Infant head support

Infant Head Support

Description: A very straightforward design that provides added head support for your baby or infant. Ideally suited for use in a car seat or in a pram, it’s usually a length of foam or soft material contained within a fabric base that sits neatly around the head of your child to protect against sudden bumps, bangs and accidents and to keep Baby’s wobbly head facing forward.

Pros: As a proportion of total body weight, the head is very heavy. Unfortunately for babies their neck muscles are almost non-existent and therefore Mum or Dad need to help support the head of a baby for many weeks with one of these things. Adding a head support to the car seat also helps keep them warm.

Cons: You want to take your daughter to the shops to buy a couple of litres of milk and yet, by the time you have got her coat on, got her in the pushchair, got her strapped in and adjusted the head support, you’ve used up twenty minutes and it’s almost time to come home again. But that’s having young children for you. If you have a summer baby then the only downside to head supports is that they can be a bit too warm during the hot weather.

What’s it all about? You’ll want to make baby’s world as comfortable as you can, especially in the early weeks because new babies sleep so much. By using an Infant Head Support you’ll be able to admire your snoozing child without constantly trying to reposition his head.

Bloke’s Rating: Support is good.

Posted at 7:06pm and tagged with: two column, baby, infant, dad,.

March 28th 2012

On… Travel/Booster Seats

Travel/Booster Seats

Description: Kids continue to grow at a remarkable rate – you’ll know this already because some of the 0–3 month stuff you and your family bought for your newborn baby wasn’t even out of the packet or off the hanger before your son or daughter was into the next size. The same happens to the car seats. Just as you’d got the knack of inserting and extracting baby’s car seat down to a fine art, or just after you have installed her first fixed car seat, she needs a new one. You’re back in the shops comparing features and prices and will go home about one hundred pounds poorer. A travel seat is much more of a permanent feature in your car, as you tend not to carry it in or out every time you’re going on a car journey. They look at lot like a Formula One driver’s seat and you wouldn’t mind sitting in one yourself, if they ever made them big enough.

Pros: Now that baby is a few years old, she is taking a real interest in what’s going on around her and spends less time asleep in the car. The car seat you need to be buying will provide support, comfort and enough height for the little one to look out of the window but will also have a reclining position for longer journeys. In fairness, you will get a lot more use out of a car seat than you did with the carry seat, so spending the extra pennies is more than justified.

Cons: The only real con to booster seats is that awkward year or so when your offspring is turning from infant to child. Once the head support is gone, your daughter will still fall asleep in the car but without anything to prop her up she’ll tend to flop over to one side with only the seatbelt to stop her slumping into a little heap.

What’s it all about? Go for a car seat which has a removable back, so that once your child is ready, you don’t have to go out and buy a separate booster seat. If there are any occasions when other people are in the back of the car, be sure to check that the car seat is still securely fastened to the seat – older relations in particular have this uncanny ability to unbuckle the securing seatbelt thinking it is their own, leaving your child in an incredibly dangerous situation should you have an accident.

Bloke’s Rating: This may be your only opportunity to buy zebra-skin patterned upholstery; grasp your chance while you can.

Posted at 11:42pm and tagged with: two column, car seat, booster seat, dad, car, travel, child,.

March 26th 2012

On… Car Seats – with a carry handle

Car Seat – With Carry Handle

Description: Baby seats come in a wonderful array of shapes, colours and sizes. You can spend anywhere from £100 to £500-plus on a car seat but they do all boil down to pretty much the same thing. For new-borns through to about nine months or 10kg you will need a rear-facing seat with its own buckle system to contain the baby, and then the seat itself is secured in the car using the seat belt. The varying prices appear to be based on how much filling goes into the upholstery, how many subtle positions the chair can be moved into, the chunkiness of the carry handle and the ‘funkiness’ of the pattern printed on the chair.

Pros: Life with a car seat means you can be mobile with your baby whether you are visiting family and friends or simply going shopping. There will be occasions when you load up your baby and simply drive around the block a few times to get her to go to sleep. The benefit of the car seat is that you can pull out the handle and carry your sleeping infant from the car to wherever you are going next without disturbing them. As the carry seats are mobile by definition, you can transfer your child easily from car to car knowing that they are safe.

Cons: There are no cons to car seats: they are absolutely essential if you want to transport a baby in a car. Unfortunately, each car seat will come with a unique and at first apparently impossible-to-decipher guide to installation. If you buy your car seat from one of the larger retailers and actually from a shop rather than online, the chances are you will be able to insist a sales assistant shows you how to fit it. Bear in mind that you can practice as much as you like before baby comes along – it’s a whole lot tougher once baby is actually sitting in the chair.

What’s it all about? As a minimum you will want to buy a seat that can be adjusted from sitting position to reclining. Sitting is obviously great, allowing baby to see around him and be stimulated or possibly just terrified by everything that is rushing past outside. The reclining position is fantastic when a bit of quiet time is required, or when you’ve just overspent at Ikea – again – and you need to fit loads of flat pack furniture into the foot well underneath Baby.

Bloke’s Rating: Buy what you can afford. Baby car seats are pretty robust and therefore, no doubt the one you buy now will do for any future kids you may decide to have.

Posted at 11:42pm and tagged with: baby, car seat, dad, two column,.

March 25th 2012

On… Arriving home for the first time with your new-born baby

Slowly but surely you guide your war-worn partner gently into the house, supporting her every step of the way. The birth you have so recently witnessed is still very much in your mind’s eye: only a matter of hours ago a new life entered the world and you witnessed it all. If it wasn’t for the baby seat and your bad knee, you’d be offering to carry your partner straight up to bed and insist she rest for a couple of months. Then, unexpectedly, the pain kicks in. Why is it that your little bundle of joy, the one lying so quietly in the baby seat you’re clutching, suddenly weighs as much as a bag of cement? If you don’t get in the house pretty sharpish, the weight is likely to rip your arm out of its socket. Eight pounds two ounces, my arse!

I’m not just trying to scare you, that’s how it is. You’ll want to spend a bit of time deciding which forms of transport you are going to purchase for the little one. There are so many options that it can all be a bit baffling, but hopefully future posts on this blog will take you through the high points, the low points, the pros and the cons.

Try as you might to protect your little new-born in the cotton-wool world of your home, there will come a time when you will need to take your baby out. To the shops for instance, or to see relatives and friends, but mainly to stop yourself and baby getting cabin fever. You need to look at buying car seats, a pram, a pushchair and a whole assortment of products that will allow you or your partner to carry your progeny on your chest or on your back – and in a few months time maybe a little plastic or wooden vehicle just for Baby.

Posted at 11:42pm and tagged with: baby, new-born, dad, two column,.

March 24th 2012

On… Leaving hospital with a new-born baby

Mobility

      “Best of luck, I’ll just show you all to the door.”

      “Yes, but what do we do when…”

      “Bye!”

What? That’s it! No manual? No escort to the car to check you are doing everything right? No forms to sign and no fee to be paid? What a strange, strange feeling. The long walk out of the hospital door with a newborn baby into the big bad world is about as terrifying as the birth itself. Why is everything so noisy? Who are these people smoking in the car park? Get away from my pure, innocent, healthy child you sick, slipper-wearing freak! Don’t you dare reach out to touch my child with your unwashed, filth-ridden hands of death. Show some bloody respect!

Then there’s a small altercation with the baby seat and some confusion over just how it fits into the car, now that it’s occupied. As the sweat beads begin to form on your brow, finally there’s a resounding click of success. Fumbling in your pockets for change, thankfully for the last time in a while, you are free of the hospital car park and away. Cruising along at a deft 10 mph the streets have never felt so dangerous. A quick glance in the rear-view mirror reveals a tiny little body fast asleep and rocking violently to every bump in the far-from-satisfactory road on which you are driving. You might only have a twenty-minute drive to get home, but it feels like hours and the sense of relief at safely arriving outside the house is almost orgasmic. Your body is screaming for a stiff scotch, to steady the nerves; the brain is telling you not to touch a drop. This is not funny in the slightest.

Posted at 5:12pm and tagged with: new baby, new-born, dad, two column,.