Jon Smith / On...

writing & digital marketing

Catalan_Independence_2012_creative_commons

There’s not a wall in the centre of Barcelona without a poster, flyer or graffiti message urging independence. The newspapers, TV stations, radio and general banter are dominated by this topic. This is big news that dominates public opinion across the region and ‘nationally’- by that I mean across other neighbouring, semi-autonomous and bankrupt regions that the rest of the world knows as Spain.

This obsessive, idealised and ultimately romantic notion of independence is BAD for Cataluña.

As a staunch Irish republican, pro-Palestinian and general supporter of the right to self-determination, I really want to clap and cheer the Catalan independence movement, but I can’t. Catalunya, if it secured independence, would have to function outside of the EU, outside of the Euro and the so-called big businesses that are generating all this Catalan GDP would up sticks and leave if independence were ever achieved. A large proportion of the European exports the region currently enjoys would cease, because it’s a lot harder to do business with countries outside of the EU and in a different currency – current buyers wouldn’t buy anymore. Currently 50% of Cataluña’s trade is with the other regions of Spain – this would be hurt too – for the same reasons; it would be too difficult to trade with Cataluña and much easier to ‘shop’ elsewhere. Nothing to do with petty-mindedness from Madrid as is being bandied around in the regional press, simple fact – it’s easier for an EU country to do business with another EU country than say with Brazil or Morocco; an independent Catalunya would have to spend a few years in the wilderness until they can join the EU, Catalunya would be on the trade periphery, a last choice not a first choice.

The Catalan regional government, which is as close to self-governing as you can get, (trumped only by the Basque region which, through ETA, waged a bloody and violent independence campaign) has proven to be spectacularly bad at managing finances, controlling corruption and nepotism or making the drastic cuts required to the swollen civil service to balance the books – the same ministers can’t and won’t suddenly become better at their jobs the moment Catalunya is declared a country.

On September 11th 2012 there really were 1.5 million on the streets, these protesters weren’t just angry trade unionists, disenchanted students or ne’er do wells banding together under the independence banner for a chance to smash the windows of Citibank (again) and throw rocks at the Mossos d’Esquadra – this was a demonstration by the very broadest cross-section of the socio-economic mix with families of three generations marching; a large proportion of the demonstrators were the well-heeled middle-class who’d driven in specially from Sant Cugat et al in their Porsche Cayennes and X5s to genuinely vote with their feet.

The election on the 25th will most probably give Artur Mas the majority he needs to rule the roost and push through a pan-Iberian fiefdom referendum, but I’d be surprised if he pushes for a referendum too soon – why bother when a/ there’s a gigantic possibility it won’t get the majority vote given that the rest of Spain has a say and b/he can continue to play Comte d’Catalunya and blame Madrid when things go wrong. An independent Catalunya would mean accountability, international/sovereign compliance and would require a massive learning curve in governance – better to secure a majority rule, get the €5 Billion out of Madrid to pay off the debt and play King of an oppressed and occupied people… when the voting public become completely disillusioned in about 3 years, and re-election is looking a bit risky, push for the referendum then, stir up the anti-Madrid sentiment again and blag your way to another term in office.

PP, who let’s face it, are as despicable and incompetent as the rest of them are mounting a counter-campaign, the posters say Cataluña Sí, España También (Cataluña yes, Spain too), it pains me to say it, but they’re right – it’s the only way to secure the financial security of Cataluña and to keep the ideals of Catalunya and the Catalan culture alive, with functioning schools, public services, jobs, industry, arts and… hope.

Posted at 10:18pm and tagged with: Catalan, Catalunya, Artur Mas, Spanish Politics,.

Description: A Changing Bag is a posh term for any large bag that you begin to use to cart around nappies, wipes, creams and all the other associated gubbins. If your partner chooses one it may well be ‘baby themed’ which means light pastel colours, embroidered bears or ducks, with lots of handy external pockets that only seem to be big enough to carry lipsticks and compact mirrors. If you choose the Changing Bag it will be unnecessarily large, probably black and double as a rucksack. Either way you simply can’t function as a parent on the move without one. Get shopping, before she does.

Pros: Assuming that you remember to replace empty packets of wipes, and there’s always at least three nappies in the bag at any one time, your trips out of the house should always remain problem-free.

Cons: The Changing Bag soon becomes a general kit bag and briefcase. Every few months you will decide to sort out the nappy bag and inside you’ll find every ballpoint pen you ever owned, two important letters that needed to be posted a week ago and some form of mushy fruit that’s found its way into the workings of your mobile phone. The bigger the bag, the more useless rubbish you will end up carting around.
What’s it all about? A Changing Bag will become your mobile life over the coming years and therefore it is important to ensure it has enough space for baby’s stuff and for your stuff. If you’re a family that likes to do things at the weekend, ensure it’s big enough for all of your partner’s stuff too because, paradoxically, as the Changing Bag gets bigger her handbag will get proportionally smaller. That’s not a coincidence, nor is it just by chance that you get to carry it all the time. So, I stress again, if you’re the one who will be lumbered with it you should be the one who chooses it.

Bloke’s Rating: The beast-of-burden role will not end when your child is nappy-trained. Oh no. Now you’ve got to exchange the nappy bag for a quite-capable-of-walking-by-herself toddler who wants to ride on daddy’s shoulders.

Posted at 12:33pm and tagged with: baby changing bags, Gadgets, baby,.

Description: A bit like tights that don’t go all the way up. Think Fame! and you’ll be on the right track. Baby Leg Warmers are lengths of material – usually horribly garish in appearance – that are worn on baby’s legs for protection against the cold and protection against gravel and uneven surfaces when crawling. They make you dance better too. Put a pair of these on your child and she’ll be pirouetting before she can walk in a straight line – well, maybe not, but it will be a lot less painful crawling round the garden.

Pros: Fashion statement aside, Baby Leg Warmers will provide an extra layer of warmth whenever you are changing a nappy or Baby’s clothes. Leg Warmers are superb during those awkward spring and autumn months when it’s not that warm and yet not cold enough to bring out the winter wear.

Cons: There’s no two ways about it: your child will look daft wearing Leg Warmers. Maybe the world is wrong to judge a baby on his or her wardrobe, but the world will still judge and everyone knows a three month-old can’t buy things in shops, so they’ll guess that the fashion freak must actually be you. If the guilt of making your child a fashion victim doesn’t get you, remember that Leg Warmers are not tights and therefore there is nothing other that gravity and elastic keeping them up. Leg warmers become ankle warmers and baby becomes positively obsessed with taking them off – you’ve only got yourself to blame.

What’s it all about? The idea is sound, but they were obviously designed by someone who doesn’t have kids and probably used to be a good but not a great dancer. It’s hard enough to keep socks on a child, no matter what the age, and you’ve got shoes to help keep them strapped on. Leg Warmers look good for about five seconds and then it all goes drastically wrong from there.
Bloke’s Rating: I wanna live forever / I wanna learn how to wear trousers…

Posted at 12:33pm and tagged with: baby leg warmers, clothing, baby, parenting,.

Description: You don’t need me to tell you what gloves are, but you do need to remember that you have two options – gloves with fingers and mittens.
Pros: Gloves without separate fingers – mittens – are the way forward for both babies and toddlers. They are easy to put on and as long as they stay on, they’ll be keeping your baby’s hands warm while you’re out and about.

Cons: Gloves with fingers are generally a waste of money for babies and toddlers – their fingers will never slide easily into the right finger space and you’ll waste valuable minutes trying to sort it all out. Go for the mitten option – all you need to find is the thumb.

What’s It All About? Make sure that any gloves you buy have Velcro or popper wrist fasteners in an attempt to keep them on baby’s hands. It’s not such a bad idea to use a length of elastic to attach them to baby’s coat sleeves – yes, he or she will look a bit nerdy, but so what? It beats having to buy fourteen pairs of gloves every winter. As with hats, just because you don’t tend to wear gloves doesn’t mean that you should make that fashion choice for your little boy or girl – your fingers might be nice and toasty while you exercise your muscles pushing the pram, but poor little baby is sat quite still in front of you and that cuttingly cold wind is chilling her exposed fingers fast.

Bloke’s Rating: Essential, but impossible to keep on their hands. Expect to given ‘the stare of hatred’ by little old ladies looking at you for being such a cruel bastard when your baby has lost the umpteenth pair of gloves and is riding along in the pushchair with what could soon become a nasty dose of frostbite.

Posted at 11:23pm and tagged with: baby gloves, clothing, baby,.

Description: You know, a hat. A bit of material that you put on your head to keep it warm or cool. Well, your baby’s head that is. From the sublime to the sophisticated, from the serious to the silly, there’s a whole raft of hats for sale, specially designed for kids.

Pros: Err. Well, a winter hat will keep baby warm and a summer hat will keep him feeling cool. Simple really. In all seriousness we lose 70% of all our body heat through our heads. That’s absolutely incredible. If Baby goes hatless in the winter he’s going to feel the cold very fast and it doesn’t really make much difference how warm his coat is. Hats are generally quite cheap and there is no shame in building up a bit of a collection. There’s a hat for every conceivable weather system.

Cons: Make sure any hat you buy has straps, a buckle, elastic, a ribbon, a jubilee clip or anything in fact that means the hat can somehow fasten under the chin – it’s the only way the thing is going to stay on. Add at least another five minutes to the ‘getting-out-of-the-house-takes nearly-half-an-hour’ routine.

What’s It All About: Just because you prefer not to wear hats, or for that matter even wear a jacket when you’re out and about does not mean that your daughter doesn’t need those items of clothing either. Leave the box of hats, scarves and gloves at or near the door so that you have to physically walk past it to get out of the house.

Bloke’s Rating: Essential, but expect to lose a few over the years.

 

Posted at 11:03pm and tagged with: baby hats, clothing, baby,.

Description: In no other garment can a child look so cuddly and cute as well as utterly pathetic at the same time. His legs and arms don’t seem to work properly, nor do they fill all of the available space. Baby appears to be wrapped in so many thermal layers, it’s a complete surprise he doesn’t start to boil.

Pros: The temperature of babies can change drastically in a matter of minutes. They are not very good at regulating themselves and the adding or removing of layers has an instant effect. When you want or need to brave the winter elements with a baby, you must ensure they are as toasty as possible, and that is exactly what a body suit will guarantee.

Cons: Other than you having to remember to unzip the body suit once you are safely inside the warmth of your home, or other destination, there isn’t much to say against them. Do adjust the straps on the baby car seat and the pushchair in advance, to allow for the extra bulk of material. I suppose that the downside is that these things can be quite pricey and, given how fast babies grow, you really will only get one season’s wear out of the thing – but that’s pretty much true of all baby clothes and maybe it’s just another great excuse to buy more next year.

What’s it all about? On the Piste or not, it’s the only chance you’ll get to dress him up in an all-in-one bright yellow snowsuit.

Bloke’s Rating: A real photo opportunity – oh, and it will keep your son very warm.

Posted at 11:59pm and tagged with: baby, clothing, parenting,.

Whether you are a fan of designer clothes or not, it’s of paramount importance that you equip your child with the vast array of clothes necessary to exist in modern-day Britain. By that I mean she needs to be prepared for the best and the worst of weather systems. It’s all very well buying a selection of t-shirts for every day of the week, but what happens during the winter of discontent, when temperatures drop, natural gas is too expensive and you are not allowed to burn anything in your fireplace? You go shopping is what you do.

Kitting out your offspring doesn’t stop with clothes and apparel, oh no. The list of gadgets and products you need or are encouraged to buy as a parent, is endless and you’ll need to start buying some of it right now. Some decisions you will be making in the near future will be very important – especially the question of whether to use disposable or reusable nappies. Other decisions – like having a fancy-dress costume for every day of the week – are more down to what interests your child and how much you are willing to spend on them. Everything on offer does have a use, but it will be down to you as parents to decide whether you actually need them or not.

Posted at 10:19pm and tagged with: baby clothing, baby, parenting,.

Description: Although this toy is very traditional, they are in fact incredibly contemporary – maybe not in design, but certainly in the choice of materials used. It is still possible to get a baby walker with wooden blocks but most are large plastic A-frames with all manner of knobs, squeaky things, buttons and dials to entertain and amuse your child.

Pros: Walkers, whether they’re made from plastic or wood are great devices to encourage Baby to stand on his own two feet. They provide support for your child’s first steps and give them the taste of independent walking while still being able to hold on to something. Long after Baby is walking unaided the walker is still lots of fun to push around.

Cons: If you go for the wooden block walker then be warned that your child will hide a block somewhere that is inaccessible to you or Mum and without fail you will be blamed for the loss of the brick because it went missing on your watch. Walkers are sturdy and therefore when they are aggressively introduced to skirting boards and wooden doors they tend to leave a mark, or a chip, or a dent. Or all three. If there are older children in the house then, at some stage, the walker will be ‘borrowed’ and no doubt broken.

What’s it all about? Simple but effective, these Zimmer-frames for kids are a firm favourite in every household. Especially useful on cold or wet days when you want to encourage exercise but can’t leave the house.

Bloke’s Rating: Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart…

Posted at 10:49pm and tagged with: baby walkers, baby, education, parenting,.

Description: A play area for babies contained within mesh sides or bars. Usually playpens are a little larger than a cot, some have handy gates to get baby in and out. Playpens have nice soft floorings and once you’ve added a few of her favourite toys, it’s an Aladdin’s cave of fun for the little one.

Pros: Assuming that your child is happy to be penned in, then the playpen is a fantastic invention allowing the caring parent to get on with other things, like the washing up which is still there from breakfast time. You can use the playpen to store lots of toys and when Baby is playing the tall sides keep most of the toys in. Babies who really like playpens can even fall asleep in mid-play and wake up again an hour later and keep on playing

Cons: Most children aren’t happy to be penned up in a confined area, especially once they start crawling. Playpens do seem like a great idea and our parents’ promise us that we were more than happy to spend the first sixteen years of our life in one, but it simply isn’t true, or at least it doesn’t seem to appeal to today’s kids as much as it appealed to our generation. The grass is always greener and babies can get very upset if they’re dumped in the playpen when everyone else is allowed to wander around and do what they want.

What’s it all about? Playpens work for some kids and not for others. Don’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t work out. Remember when choosing a playpen for your home that, even though they fold up, they’re not small.

Bloke’s Rating: Let your baby try out a playpen at someone else’s house before you buy one of these contraptions.

Posted at 10:02pm and tagged with: playpen, parenting,.

Description: Paddling pools can be straightforward inflatable containers to which you just add water, or they can be complex constructions featuring castles, slides and even trampoline attachments, but one thing is for sure, kids love them, and on a balmy summer’s afternoon, the larger ones can even accommodate Dad.
Pros: Hours and hours and hours of fun.

Cons: There’s an obvious danger with water, no matter how shallow it is, so paddling pools can only ever be a supervised activity, but when the sun’s shining what other excuse do you need to spend a few hours out in the garden? Buy a pump – filling even the smallest of pools with lungpower alone will leave you dizzy and wallowing in self-pity at your failing, ageing cardio-vascular ability. Save yourself the shame.

Explaining a hosepipe ban to a three-year-old is never an easy argument to conduct. If you do find yourself caving in, finish off the day’s paddling by adding some bubbles and giving your child a good scrub – that way you are only giving your child an outdoor bath which no neighbour in their right mind is going to prevent you from doing. Tenuous, I know, but is has worked for us.

What’s it all about? Getting kids used to water is only going to help when it comes to learning how to swim. Although Britain is an island, it’s a big island and most of us don’t live next to the sea, nor can we afford a million visits to the swimming baths. A paddling pool is chlorine- and wee-free – well, it may only contain their wee, which is different – and far cheaper than a holiday for three in Greece.

Bloke’s Rating: Fun in the sun.

Posted at 10:42pm and tagged with: pool, dad, baby, toys,.